A few weeks ago I took to Instagram with a short video about something quite real and relevant that was happening in my life.
After talking to a few people about this story I came to the understanding that what I was experiencing was in fact a ‘thing’ and it appears I am not alone – it is called Imposter Syndrome, you may have heard of it.
I’ll be honest Heartworkers – yes, I’ve given you all a collective name – until last week I didn’t know there was a name for this “phenomenon”. A lifelong friend from England reached out (thanks Paul) and we chatted about it further. On top of this discussion, later that evening my Editor Sam did the same.
I was amazed, as with “Tall Poppy Syndrome” I was unaware there were names or syndromes attached to these type of experiences. WOW! I began to ask questions and self reflect on my life’s journey and identified where and when I had reached out to therapy and education to support me during these times.
Audrey Ervin (Ph.D.) states,
“Imposter syndrome is likely the result of multiple factors, including personality traits (such as perfectionism) and family background. One theory is that imposter syndrome is rooted in families that value achievement above all else. Another research article claims that it begins when families are characterized by low support and high conflict”
Ms Ervin also suggests that we might look to our culture as a whole for answers.
I still suffer from this occasionally but I know where it comes from. My Nana was was an amazing woman, but she did fuck me up psychologically. I do think my adoption of this Imposter Syndrome started with her and unfortunately grew like cancer. Nothing I ever did was good enough. I felt we were constantly compared to grandchildren of other cronies my Nana would play bridge with. It was exhausting and in reflection degrading. We gave up trying. Even up into my mid thirties, the impact of her perception continued.
I left England, got divorced, re-trained and built a business in the time leading up to her passing, but *Margaret’s granddaughter got married had three kids and built a fucking house! – ON THE MOON!!!! That last bit may be a slight exaggeration, but you get the point.
Now I am 41, and even though I look at my google/Facebook reviews and the thank you cards that adorn my office walls, I still have moments of this “Imposter Syndrome” – not to the degree I once did, but it is still there. I do sometimes look at some of the amazing people around me. People who are influential, powerful and worth millions of dollars$ but seem to understand and resonate with this syndrome. And even though this has impacted their lives at one time or another, they remain generous, humble and kind. I personally see a link between the presence of Imposter Syndrome and these admirable personality traits and quite frankly, this sits well with me … very well indeed.
Joel A Rogers
activecounsellingbyheartwork@yahoo.com
0492 851 205
HEARTWORK 